


Of All The Dreams He Ever Had, He Prayed That This One Would Come True.

by enormouseffort (orphan_account)



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-10-12 23:16:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20572553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/enormouseffort
Summary: She was smiling and he swore that it was the most beautiful thing he could ever see in his life.Missing moments in the perspective of Jamie Fraser in the first Outlander book.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I sort of always come and go with writing fics. I drabble them, post them, delete them. But I wrote this today. I should have started studying for my Master Degree application exams, that start later this year, but I guess that writing in English counts for my foreign language exam, right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie dreams of Claire and a future he wishes for them both but believes he is unable to have.

She was smiling and he swore that it was the most beautiful thing he could ever see in his life. 

Claire was holding a baby and even without a single word from her, he knew that all was well with her and his child. She smiled as the tiny baby slept peacefully in her mother arms. They were at Lallybroch, in the same bedroom he was born what seemed like a lifetime ago. 

Claire was the sun, casting all darkness from his life and he still could not believe that she was his. _Come here, Jamie. _She spoke at last, leaving him breathless with the sight of her. _Come meet our daughter._

He walked to her, knelt by the bed and kissed her softly, picking the child in his arms. A perfect mixture of them both: his red hair and her whiskey eyes. She smiled at him, and he moved to the other side of the bed, sitting by her side and slipping one arm around her, as the other held his precious child in his arms. And, the sky darkened once more in his dreams and he felt it, the utter loss of waking up and knowing that his dreams were only _dreams_.

He was a wanted man, with nothing to give her, not even his own name, as he had to live under another to avoid prison. He wanted to run to her, tell her all his heart and promise her everything, but how could he?

She clearly did not want to be there with him and the other collecting rent for the Mackenzie and he knew that she was aware –if not of the proper words- of the general idea of what the man called her behind her back. But no, she was not a spy or any of the lower things the men called her. No, she could lie with words, but her face always betrayed her.

At least, that gave him hope. She smiled at him sometimes and he could dare to dream that maybe whatever she felt for him could grow with time. But no, what future would she have with him? As the wife of a wanted man, who would not be able to give her anything but his love?

He wanted to give her the world, the moon and the stars, but he had nothing.

Still, as he walked in the inn that morning, and she smiled at him as he sat down next to her to eat breakfast, all the reasons why he should give up faded away and the dreams of _them_ came back flooding his mind and he hoped, prayed even, that she couldn’t hear how fast his heart was beating. And, most of all, of all the dreams he ever had, he prayed that this one would come true. That she could be his just as he was already hers. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie and how he was chosen -or, better yet, volunteered- to marry Claire Beauchamp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some time off last morning and night, and all of you have been so kind that I just had to write this. In fact, this scene was what I had in mind originally for the first ficlet.

Today, Claire -no, Mistress Beauchamp, was taken for a meeting with Redcoats, worried about the _safety_ of an English woman riding amongst _brute Scotsmen_. Jamie Fraser -Mr. MacTavish to the woman in question- knew quite well who was there and just the thought of Randall being anywhere Claire made his stomach curl in fear and his heartbeat even faster with worry. He paced back and forth, worrying that there would be nothing they could do to protect her or even worse. That she rejected the possibility that Dougal would give her. _That she rejected him. _

_Dreams of the couple laughing in Lallybroch, holding children that were a miniature of their parents and love, so much love, filled his mind. And all of them could turn out to be just that -dreams of a future that will never be. _

Dougal had murmured to some men of his trust on the previous day, stating that the area was doomed to be filled with the English patrol. The warchief was concerned with the woman spilling her secrets to them. Jamie knew that she most likely would not, but her face would betray her regardless of her words. Jamie was sitting quietly in a corner of the inn, masking his worry and attention to the subject as the whiskey eyed woman slept upstairs. 

"You can make her a Scot." Ned suggested, "then they would not take her without Himself's approval." 

"The lass' no' a Scot." Angus laughed "she'd need to be born again for that." 

"Or get married to one of us." Dougal finished and Jamie was both filled with fear and joy. “I’d sure like to have the lass on my bed.” 

Jamie’s blood went cold at the thought of his uncle and Mistress Beauchamp. No, it would not work, she would never accept him and his uncle was already married. As they went through with their options, Jamie pondered what to do and tried to think of ways to make it work, to keep her safe, despite everything else. 

_But, if not Dougal, then who? Willie was an option, but he wouldn’t protect her properly, Angus and Rupert were even worse. In no absolute way, he would let Ned Marry Claire, even if the lawyer was sometimes kind to the English woman. The only two people available left were him and Murtagh. His godfather, fully aware of his love for the healer -even without a single word from his godson- would never accept. _

Jamie didn’t have to think much, in the end, to decide. He couldn’t give her much, but that was something he could give her. His country, his nationality at least. He could not shower her in jewels, gold and silver, but he could give her the protection of his body. _Iffrin_! He would give her his last drop of blood if it meant that she was safe from Randall, Dougal and anyone else in the world. His uncle would agree, as it took him from the Mackenzie’s line of succession from good. 

When Dougal turned to him, Jamie’s choice was long made. Not that he had a choice in the matter. As soon as he saw her, truly saw her as she fixed his shoulder and cried in front of him, he knew that it was more than just want. yes, he wanted her with every piece of him but loved her even more. 

So, squaring his shoulders, he stood confidently. "Aye, uncle.” Even if he feared to never recover if she said no. If she denied _him_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie, before and during his conversation with Claire when he hopes she will marry him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another quick one because I love to try and get into Jamie's head in moments of cannon.

His heart was fit to burst of excitement and fear at any minute. His uncle and Misstress Beauchamp -no, not for long now- were due to arrive at any time now. In fact, they were late, which meant things had gone bad, hence part of Jamie’s fear. The other part, this one combined with his excitement, was related to his agreement with his uncle. If needed, he would marry the _Sassenach. _His uncle was doing it for himself, protecting his secrets from the English. Meanwhile, Jamie was doing it for _her._

After they came back, the redheaded man paced back and forth, worry filling his face until she called for him. He always heard that he was a man who could mask his feelings well, keeping them under a tight leash until it was time to reveal them. _And now was not a time to reveal his true feelings for her, even if he wanted desperately to tell her that he was more than glad to marry her, that he would work to give her the world if she so wished._

No, she did not want this marriage, it showed in her beautiful face when she and Dougal arrived, it showed in the way she went to sit by herself and in the way she carelessly held the marriage contract. 

She deserved more than this, a hurried wedding to a man she didn’t want. But it was all he could give and he vowed to make it as easy for her as he could. She had not been given a choice now, and he would give all of them to her if she wished him to. 

“Dougal wants us to be married,” she spoke, not looking at him. The way the sun hit her face and her hair shone in the reflection of the stream next to her made his heart skip a beat before he was able to answer. 

“I ken.”

She had asked him then if he agreed to it. _Agreed? He would have married her on the first day if he could. _He spoke in half-truth to her then, he was her _friend _if anything, first and foremost for now, even if he desired to be much more than that. But if what she needed now was to hear that he would expect only to be her friend and that he would keep her away from Randall’s dangerous hand, then yes, he was solely a friend who wanted to help her. Marrying him kept her safe from Randall and prevented him from doing any more harm to her.

Jamie was furious at Randall, more than he ever was before. How dare he hurt _her? _

He was ashamed to tell her that he had never been with a woman before, but if it helped her feel better in the situation, if it gave her any control over all of this mess she had been throw in without a say in the matter, then he would share all of his embarrassments, all of his stories, all of his fears. H_e was under her power already, under her spell. And he was very glad to be there. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie’s feelings and thoughts at the wedding ceremony and afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, thank you all so much for all the comments/kudos/views on this project that started out as a one-shot and now will be eight parts long (at least for now). I am blown away that people actually like this and I hope you enjoy more snippets into Jamie’s head because I sure love writing it.
> 
> Second, I know that there are quite a few excellent fics out there with Jamie’s pov on this particular moment of Outlander (like probably more than a dozen, and I’d be glad to chat with you about them because I’m a fanfic fangirl), but even so, I wanted to give it a go and try to write one myself to see how it would turn out.

When he followed Claire into the church -_not Mistress anymore for they would be way more intimate with one another now, and certainly not a Beauchamp for very long now_\- his heart was still beating fast at the sight of her and he hoped that he would live past this moment and not die of happiness right there. She was, indeed, _light. As if the sun had shone in his life once more, casting away all darkness from his life. If it all had led to her, then he would do it over and over again._

_She was Sorcha, his Sorcha. _

Although, he prefers the English name Claire for her. Her strangeness, her odd mannerisms and speech are all things that drew him to her, pulled him even deeper into the abyss that was falling in love with her._ He had no way out, and neither did he want to. He would follow her anywhere and everywhere if given the chance. _

_She just needed to allow him to. _

He could not give her get much, but he surely would give her all he could, all he had: his name, his family, his clan and the protection of his body. She was the light of his life and nothing would hurt her now.

She wanted to know his name, his real name and he supposed that it was long overdue. It must have been on the contract, but she must have not paid attention to it, not that she could be blamed for it. She was and is nervous and so is he. _Whatever they were getting themselves into, at least there were the two of them now._

He paused with every word, saying each name reverently to her. "It's Fraser. James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser."

The priest’s words were simple, and all those who were present could see that the man did not want to perform the ceremony, but was doing it anyway. Surely, Dougal must have paid him. But Jamie’s sole focus was in his bride. She looked bonny, yes, but not altogether happy to be there. 

Still, when they kissed at the end, his heart became filled with hope. Hope for the future he dreamed, that she, one day, may dream it along with him, may live it with him. She kissed him, not out of pure duty. It may have started that way, but soon he could see that was slowly surrendering herself to the feeling of him. It was unlike any other kiss he ever experienced before, erasing them all and replacing them with _her_. 

The blood vow that followed might have not meant anything to her._ Could anyone blame her for it? she did not even know what the words she had said meant. _But it was everything to him. It bounded them together in more ways than one. Or, at the very least, it bounded _him_ to _her_. 

When she fainted, he was so worried about her that all previous thoughts about what came next on that night were obscured. She had married him not long ago and now she was already in a pretty rough state. _Was this the best option? Had he already failed her?_

Yet, when she woke as he wiped her face -all he could do for her- he pushed all thoughts away. “That bad, was it?” he grinned, hoping it would mask how desperate and uncertain of her answer he truly was. _Could she see it? how much he cared? How much he loved?_

She had explained that it was not him -much to his delight now- but rather to lack of food and excess of drink. He could not give her much, but he vowed to keep her fed. 

When he explained that he thought the blood vow had made her faint and she asked what it meant, he was hopeful, at least she was interested in knowing what bounded them together. He translated the vow to her, wishing that they meant something for her _now _as she understood what was said, that she accepted it, accepted _him_. As a _husband_. As _her husband (so far the best title he ever had, only to be replaced by ‘father of her children’ one day, God willing)_. 

He was fully aware that she was holding back things, not saying all she knew, all she was. But much to his comfort, her face could not lie to him and he knew fully that she told him all she could. He had proposed a new vow to her then, meaning every word and knowing that she meant the same. 

_"I'll ask nothing of ye that ye canna give me. But what I would ask of ye — when you do tell me something, let it be the truth. And I'll promise ye the same. We have nothing now between us, save — respect, perhaps. And I think that respect has maybe room for secrets, but not for lies." _

She had accepted him, at least in the ways of the flesh. It was more than he could ever imagine and he knew she felt it too, at least in her body if not her heart yet. He just hoped that one day maybe, just maybe, she would feel the same for him, that she would _love_ him. He would wait forever, as long as she was by his side. 

_Now, the dreams of a future with her, happily -regardless of where for she was his home now- could come true. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie has an interesting conversation with his cousin Hamish about the newest gossip of Leoch: the marriage between the red-headed Fraser and the strong-minded Sassenach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wee ficlet was supposed to actually not happen at all, instead part VI would be posted as part V. However, I was remembering bits of book 1 to write these parts (since these ficlets concern Jamie’s perspective in book 1) and stumbled upon this scene that always makes me laugh, I mean it's golden to see Claire’s reaction to this conversation. But what was going on Jamie's head? what could he be thinking and feeling then?

Embarrassed. Nervous. 

How does one explain to a young laddie what goes between a man and his wife?

The puir laddie wanted to ride Donas and Jamie was sure to not allow him to do that. But, in doing so, it opened the possibility to the young Mackenzie to have a conversation with him about one of the most recent events in Leoch: Jamie’s marriage, a topic discussed between older ladies who complimented them, young lassies who clearly disproved the union, and, apparently, young children. 

"Rupert said ye had to get married," Hamish spoke, eating an apple meant for the horses. 

"I wanted to get married," he said firmly, wishing to erase any doubt on the matter, both from the laddie and to the lady -his lady- who waited in hiding above them to make sure the laddie did not see her (gossip would be sure to happen if he did). _Perhaps it was for the best, maybe she would not see how embarrassed he was and not looking at her made saying these things about how it was truly his wish that they married easier._

His cousin wondered if he minded getting married and having a wife by his bed every night. _Minded? He would have been married to her on day one if he could! _

"No," said Jamie. "No, in fact, it's verra pleasant." Far m_ore than he ever could have hoped for, for she wanted him as much as he wanted her. _

"I dinna think I should like it much. But then all the girls I know are skinny as sticks, and they smell o' barely water. The lady Claire-your lady, I mean," the boy stammered, most likely not wishing to cause confusion with Jamie himself, "she's, er, she looks as though she'd be nicer to sleep with. Soft, I mean." 

"Aye, that's true. Smells all right, too," _that was an understatement if Jamie ever met one, her smell was simply what heave must smell like to Jamie. Claire smelled of herbs, of nature, as if she truly was the faerie some called her. No, no, she was a woman, a living, breathing, real woman and he loved her -all of her. And to think that he almost lost her is almost as unbearable as he can imagine what actually losing her must feel like._

Jamie recalled fondly of his own father as he told her how he knew which lass was the one for him. Brian Fraser had been right all along. Once he knew there was no turning back, no changing yer mind. Even if it takes more time to the lass herself to love him in return. 

He was more than embarrassed when he had to explain to him what happened in the marital bed, and knew that Claire heard him. Though, her laugh echoed freely as she left the stables after Hamish had done so and Jamie found himself smiling as well. 

At least now they had a few interesting and funny stories to -maybe one day- tell their own children. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie’s thoughts as he leaves Claire to go hunting with the Duke of Sandrigham and later when he learns she is being tried as a witch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and being so lovely and kind <3 I’m really glad that you all seem to enjoy these snippets as much as I do.

_Parted from her. _

So soon in their marriage, so soon after he had taken her from the hands of Randall, so soon after she had forgiven him for what he had done to protect her honour, to return her standing in front of the group, so soon after he had understood that their marriage could not be like the others he had known. 

T_hey had to go a different way. _

_And they were walking there steadily until he had to be parted from her once more._

He had to go with the Duke of Sandringham on a hunting trip. It was one way of getting what he wanted now: his life back. That way, he would be able to give Claire what she deserved, and he would do everything in his power to make sure she never needed or wanted anything he could not give. They could return to Lallybroch, and he would be able to present her, his Lady, to his tenants, to his sister, and give her all she deserved, all he could not give her yet. 

_His dreams had a chance of blossoming even brighter._

_And, now, they faded away in the mist._

He had kissed her upon his leaving and had asked her, begged her to take care of herself. There were people who wished her harm, who would want to hurt her. And he was right. 

But Claire, the sweet, strong-minded _Sassenach_ could not whiter away her calling, her _need_ to help others. However, in doing so, she was accused as a witch. She had, as he left, asked the same of him as he had asked her, but he did not care in the slightest about his own safety anymore. _He would save her, bring her to safety, or he would die trying. _

He had never ridden so fast in his life, all his thoughts on his curly-haired love and in how he never told her he loved her, that she was his entire world. 

_He only hoped that he had the chance. _


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie, when Claire tells him her secret and he decided to take her back to the stones, to her first husband. And what he feels when she chooses him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and for your kind words on the previous chapters <3 I hope you all enjoy this one too, because it’s one of my favourites so far!

He hated to do it. Every piece in him was telling him not to. to fall on his knees in front of her and beg her to stay. But he _had _to do it. Do it for_ her_. 

He had vowed to give her what she wanted, what she needed. And that is what she wanted all of this time, ever since she came, _ever since they met_. 

He tried to not take this personally, it wasn’t _himself, _James Fraser, it was _him_, her husband, the one who waited for her on the other side. 

Jamie tried to place himself on this man shoes. If it was him who had lost Claire, he would have been destroyed, unable to move on. He would have been wondering and wondering about what happened to her, searching for her with all his might for all of time. 

_Time. _

Such a small word, such a meaning, such a thing that could be defeated. Had been -_will be?_\- defeated by her. She was from the future, had told him so with shaking hands and apprehension. 

Her eyes were clear as day but terrified as she told him her tale. But they did not lie. She had allowed him then to see her, see who she really was. 

This choice was easy but very hard at the same time. Easy because it was not his to make. Hard because it was _hers._ She held his heart, his whole world in her small hands, his future was with her, and without her, he was afraid he would have nothing left to fight for, that he would just whiter away, unable to move on. 

He whispered to her as she slept all of the things he did not say to her as she was awake, not wishing that she stayed out of pity for this man who loved her more than life itself when she would be safer and happier somewhere, sometime else. She had nearly been killed for witchcraft, after all. For how long would he be able to keep her safe? to protect her? He almost arrived too late again. First Randall and now Cranesmuir. 

What would he do without her? Perhaps he would go back to Lallybroch in the morning after he had made sure that she was safe, that she had crossed safely back to her home, back to _him. _He could see his family and wait for his end, hoping that she would remember him at least once, think of him with fondness, for he would never be able to forget her. 

He could not bear to watch her go, had prevented her from doing so once, out of pure fear and selfishness. If he stayed, he would have knelt before her and begged that she stayed with him, forgetful of all pride. 

When he walked away from that hill, he could hear the breaking of a flower stem._ And he was certain that it was his own heart breaking. _

Still, in the dead of the night, his heart was mended once more. She always had that ability to mend him and make him whole. She had done it physically many times before, but now she mended his heart, his feelings. 

He woke up as if it was another night with her and thought it was a dream -for she should not be there anymore- and still he was glad for it, that she was here in his dreams. Then he saw that she was there, with him, as real as he was. He kissed her thoroughly, happier than he ever was, glad to just stay there forever in that cottage, holding her to him, just breathing the same air.

He could scarcely believe it, but she was there, with him, in_ this time_. She had chosen him, chosen the stubborn highlander who lived on the run and had no way of knowing if he was to be hanged the next day or not. 

But she was _here, _she had chosen _now._ His _now, _her _past. _It did not matter to him, all that was important in the world was this woman, laying on the cot beside him, kissing his tears away as her own flowed freely. He smiled brightly. 

_Oh, how she broke his heart with loving her. And how she picked the pieces and fixed it skillfully. _


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie settles back in Lallybroch with Claire and what he feels as she tells him she believes she is unable to have children of her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more to go after this one. As always, thank you so much for reading ;)

_Home. _

He had the home of his heart right there with him, galloping towards the physical home he nad not seen in years. There was a goofy smile that he could not -nor he wished to- wipe off his face ever since she had come back to him. Ever since she chose to ground herself with him. 

They slept on the woods those nights of travel, choosing to cover as much distance as they could during the riding hours. During the day, she would tell him stories and tales of her time -not of _him_, the man she left behind- and he marvelled at how at ease she looked like now as she previously had been choking in all things she could not say, in her own secrets and was now breathing again after sharing the burden of her secret with him. And during the night, he loved her in the woods and now in the laird’s bedroom and dreamed of their future together. 

“Living a good long life wi’ ye and our bairns, S_assenach,_” he replied when she asked him what he dreamt about, pointing that he smiled in his sleep. _It was clear why his smile never left, could she not see that it was all her? Especially now that she told him she loved him and he finally had the guts to say it to her himself. _

Sometimes, when he mentioned children he could tell that she looked slightly upset like a sad memory washed over her mind and she could not shake it off. He never asked, fearful that she had lost bairns with her previous husband and not wishing to bring those memories back to upset her even further. He tried not to talk about it much, ever since before they left Leoch, but it always slipped from his mouth, like he could not contain his dreams of _them _with _her _and had to share it with the one person he needed to live them with him.

Geillis Duncan -damm her for getting Claire in trouble and blessing her for helping his wife- had told him she suspected Claire was barren, but Claire herself had said nothing to him and he wondered if that was really the reason why or if the woman had lied to him. 

Until, one night at Lallybroch, she told him why. His heart broke at the sadness in her eyes and the way her voice wavered as he held her in bed and she recalled to him that she never had a child with her previous husband and would most likely never be able to give him a lad or lass as sweet and beautiful as Jenny’s bairns. She was devastated and, frankly, so was he. But he held on to her tightly and kissed the top of her head. He was sure she could feel his own sorrow, but he cast it aside and focused on helping her feel relieved of her own pain. 

He had been right when he told her he could bear pain himself but could not bear hers. _It indeed took way more strength than he ever will be able to have. _


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie, after the horrors he suffered, dreams again of the future he, Claire and the bairn she carries can have and how it brings healing into his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are, my dear and beloved friends, the end (for now) of these little one-shots in Jamie’s perspective. This story is very, very dear to my own heart and every single message, comment, like, kudos, reading I got in it makes my heart soar because this is my baby, okay? Thank you all so much for everything.

He was back at Lallybroch, laying in bed with his wife where he was the happiest. His wife smiled at him as his arms wrapped around her middle and rested comfortably on her growing belly. Their first bairn was growing there and he smiled whenever he noticed the changes in her body. He closed his eyes, marvelling at the feel of _her_. 

“_Jamie_,” she called but he didn’t answer, just smiled softly at her. She called again, but there was something wrong with her voice. It was desperate, scared and fearful. 

He opened his eyes and saw her desperate face. It was dark, but he knew they were not at home. That was a dream and he wished this one was too. Claire could not be here with him, not in prison, not where _he _was near. She was looking at him, fear in her eyes and he looked back echoing the feeling. 

No, no, she needs to go away, she can not be here, not when he does not have the strength to help her, he can’t let Randall hurt her like he hurt him. The vile man walked in the room and took Claire from him and Jamie was unable to stop him because of the chains, just watching as he suffocated her with his hands and threw her against the wall. 

“No!” Jamie yelled, “Dinna touch her!” _Jamie could stand a lot of things, feel a lot of pain himself. But not hers, never hers. He was not strong enough for that, nor he believed he ever could be._

There was an abrupt movement on his side, and a soft voice began to talk with him. Fear, pain and love mixed messily and strongly, all fighting for dominance, both the voice and in him. 

“Shhh.” she began, “You were having a nightmare, it’s alright, love.” 

_It could not be, could it?_

“No, go home, Sassenach, please, I beg of you, don’t say here wi’ me,” he spoke, tears folwing freely in his face and she wiped them with her thumb, kissing the salty path they left, as he finally willed his eyes to open. 

“Jamie,” she spoke softly, standing up from the bed and guiding him to the fireplace where he could see her properly, lighting her features and his. Remind him of who they were, where they were. _Grounding him. _“You’re in the Abbey of Ste. Anne de Beaupré, remember? We’re not _there_ anymore.” 

His tears still fell freely as she guided them both to the bed once more and laid down. He did so as well, wrapping his arms around her a little tighter than he probably should, but he couldn’t help himself. “Talk to me, please, don’t carry all this burden alone.” She whispered, “You don’t have to, There’s the three of us now, remember? we can carry it with you. _I_ can, please allow me.” 

“I saw ye first. We were like this and we had a bairn on the way.” he began quietly and she smiled softly at that but saw his face harden as he spoke the next words. “then, then I was _there_ and so were ye, _Sassenach_.”

His voice broke, thick from emotion and fear as he pulled her even tighter against his chest, needing the feel of her against his skin, alive and well, reminding him that so was he. She kissed his chest softly, understanding. “He killed ye. I saw it in my dream.”

“I know, I know.” She began and guided his hands to her belly, the changes of her body not yet showing much, but he knew that the life they created together was already there, growing and glowing. “But he didn’t, not in reality. I’m here, you’re here, we’re here and we’ll be alright.” She finished and kissed his lips softly, slowing deepening the kiss. 

He was still amazed at how he -broken and hurt- had managed to create something so beautiful, how this bairn was already showing him that there were beauty and life still in the world. Another reason to fight, another reason to _live_. A _miracle _he and Claire had made.

He was not in Lallybroch anymore and they would be leaving the Abbey soon in the morning, but, perhaps, his dreams were meant to come true somewhere else. The home of his heart was wherever -and whenever- his _Sassenach_ was.

“Aye. There’s the three of us now.”

**Author's Note:**

> Meet me on tumblr at http://maybeimdoingsomethingright.tumblr.com <3


End file.
